The Metro: A Lesson In What An Ecig Should Not Be

Well, here I am once again, reviewing a piece of vaping gear out of curiosity and starting to see things from the cat’s point of view. This time around, I’m reviewing the Metro disposable electronic cigarette by Nicotek.

I should have guessed what the outcome would be based solely on the fact that I got this ecig from the same place where I got the Voda Vapor Pineapple ejuice that I loved so little.

But, nope. I didn’t. I suck. So let’s get right into it.

The Metro Disposable comes in 0mg, 6mg, 12mg and 18mg strengths. As my juice reviews indicate, I usually like my juice strength around 24mg, which Nicotek doesn’t even offer. Strike 1.

The hardware, too, has some… issues. We’ll start with the battery. In striking contrast to the NJoy King disposable, the Metro’s battery is freakin’ huge. (That’s highly technical terminology, folks.) Also unlike the NJoy King — or any other disposable I’ve ever seen — the battery and cartomizer can be separated. I really don’t see what the point of that is, unless this disposable actually isn’t a disposable and they just don’t include a charger.

The connection is also a little odd. It’s not a 510 connection, although it does sort of resemble one. Why is this non-standard connection an issue? Well, provided you stick with using only Metro’s cartomizers, I suppose it isn’t one. Metro’s cartomizers… that cost $20 per six-pack.

And what’s wrong with Metro’s cartomizers? Glad you asked. Or… glad I asked, all rhetorical-like, on your behalf. Here’s what’s wrong with them: They’re not refillable. Use ’em up and throw ’em away, that’s all you get. And >1ml of juice is not equivalent to a pack of cigarettes. Even if the battery did last that long, which there’s no way in several shades of Hell a battery of this type would.

And now it’s time to address the performance of the Metro Disposable. I guess I could leave it at “Astonishingly, hilariously bad.” But I think more probably ought to be said by way of explanation.

Let me start this portion of the review by saying… I don’t think I’m going to wear out the charge on this battery. That’s not a measure of how good the battery life is. I’m sure it would have sucked.

No, it’s a statement on the dismal quality of the juice inside the cartomizer.

Throat hit is mediocre, and that’s the best quality it’s got. Vapor is nearly nonexistent. And the flavor. Hooooo, well.

The most pleasant thing about the flavor is that there barely is any. What flavor there is isn’t exactly bad… it’s just not a flavor one should taste from an ejuice. It’s the smell of a shoe store. A little bit of leather and a lot or rubber and plastic.

That’s the flavor here. Whoever labeled this thing as containing a “tobacco” flavor, I would wager good money that that person only knows about tobacco what they have picked up second hand from somebody who read a book about it once.

So that’s it. That’s what I do — satisfy my morbid curiosity so you don’t have to. Until next time, please remember to support this blog; do good work, and be good to yourselves and each other.

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